Self-worth and Body Image
In 2010 I had my first major weight loss episode, this was due to stress at the time I was doing my GCSE’s and I couldn’t seem to find time to eat. So I went from a healthy size 12 to 8, this was so problematic for my health but I was able to slowly put the weight back on and get to the healthy size 12 I once was. *image 2*
This is when I’ve always felt the sexiest within myself. Really happy with who I was and where my body was physically.
But for about two years now, I’ve been struggling with my body image. Especially since I have put on weight because of stress. I was eating as a coping mechanism for stress. The weight wasn’t something I realized while I was putting it on because my clothes still fit me. *image 1*
I went from size 12 to 16 without realizing. And I couldn’t understand why I didn’t notice this while it was happening. But the point is after I had realized, I hated everything about my body, my arms appeared to be huge in every photo. I started picks all my flaws and with that came insecurities. So I started training with Shaun T – T25 it was hard but necessary, and along the way I found out that the exercises weren’t working for me. What was I doing wrong?
I wasn’t allowing a change within myself to happen, I was trying to get back to a version of myself that no longer existed or at least I had grown out off. I now associate the size 12 version of myself with a young and naive girl that allowed other people to influence her way of thinking and her way of being.
I have only recently realized that dealing with challenges and change in relation to the self, is a journey that has to begin psychologically; to therefore, allow the change to become physical.
Remember you are beautiful, wherever you find yourself in this moment.